The better man is commonly the grooms most trusty and close friend or relative. The ushers may be the grooms brothers, cousin, or best friends, or brothers and near relatives of the bride.
The ring bearer, a new boy between the ages of 4 and nine (using anyone younger than 4 is not recommended, no matter how cute he is), is commonly a relation of the bride or groom or the child of a good friend.
When all the grooms attendants live in the same town, they should all see the same store to be careful and fitted for their formal attire. If someone lives out of town, he can be measured in the store of his choice. He should then send his correct measurements to the bride or groom, who will reserve formal wear and accessories for the final fitting.
In a military wedding the groom, as a member of the armed forces, chooses attendants from among his military friends. His best man, though, may be civilian.
The curve of swords (navy) and savers (army) is reserved exclusively for officers. There should be a minimal of four swords/saber bearers, but it is best to make six or eight. The swords or savers are not drawn by the military ushers while seating guests, but are put on just prior to the processional.
The grooms seeants are invited to attend all parties given for the bridal couple except possibly office or special group parties. They are also invited to all bachelor parties.
You may receive the ring bearer to see parties for the bride and groom, but because of his age his parents may give him forgo attending. But do invite his parents to attend. Also invite his mother to see any bridal showers, and his mother to assist any bachelor parties.
The ushers gifts should all be alike. The best mans gift may depart from the ushers in fashion and design. A different form of gift may be granted to the ring bearer, one appropriate for his age. Possible gift choices; for the better man and ushers - belt buckles, billfolds, business card cases, collar stay collections, date books, desk accessories, hardbound books, jewelry cases, key rings, money clips, paperweights, pen and pencil sets, pewter mugs, picture frames, CDs/tapes, sports tickets, stationary, travel clocks; and for the rung bearer - a card game, basketball, model airplane, monogrammed mug, or soccer ball.
Responsibilities of the Best Man
Before the wedding, he
- pays for his own attire, purchased or rented.
- is responsible for devising and keeping appointments for fittings.
- tries on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before going the stock in character any sizes need to be exchanged.
- may sustain the honeymoon travel arrangements for the groom.
- hosts the bachelor party if other arrangements have not been made.
- helps the brides mother with last-minute details.
- attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
- may serve the groom finish packing.
- may provide transfer to the ceremony site for the groom.
- obtains the wedding license from the train and holds it until the appropriate time for signing.
- is in point of the officiants fee. May have the envelope to the officiant before the ceremony.
- may also manage the ushers, making certain they are thoroughly briefed, dressed, and at the ceremony site at the appropriate time.
During the ceremony, he
- is not percentage of the processional but enters with the groom, standing behind the dress and somewhat to the left.
- may control the marriage ring until the officiant asks for it.
- walks with the maid/matron of honour in the recessional.
After the ceremony, he
- immediately serves as one of the witnesses in signing the wedding license.
-helps the bride and dress into their car or other kind of transportation if the response is being help at another location.
- may cause the bride and prepare to the reception.
- usually drives the maiden of respect and other bridesmaids to the reception.
At the reception, he
- does not abide in the receiving line unless he is besides the mother of the groom.
- sits to the brides right at the seated reception.
- proposes the first toast to the new couple for heath, happiness, and prosperity.
- acts as the principal of ceremonies, introducing any speakers, the cake-cutting ceremony, the tossing of the sweetness and garter, etc.
- mingles with guests.
- helps the train into his going-away clothes at the end of the reception.
- checks that all luggage is in the car.
- leads the duo through the waiting guests to the issue and escorts them to their car.
- may cause them to the hotel or airport.
After the reception, he
- promptly returns both his and the grooms rented formal clothing to the appropriate location.
- may assist in entertaining out-of-town guests.
Responsibilities of the Ushers
Before the wedding, they
- pay for their own wedding attire, purchased or rented.
- are responsible for devising and keeping appointments for fittings.
- try on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before going the stock in character any sizes need to be exchanged.
- attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
At the ceremony site, they
- arrive at the prescribed time.
- assemble to the remaining of the entrance thirty to forty-five minutes before the observance begins.
- greet arrivals and promote them to house the guest book, and so be seated.
- usher as follows:
couple: take womans arm, and man follows
family: take wife arm; husband and family follow
two girls: take one in each arm
two woman: escort the elder, the younger girl follows
men: simply accompany men to their seats unless they require assistance
Remain standing by the pew until the soul is seated.
- when guests do not give a pew card, ask if they are friends of the bride or groom.
- seat the guests accordingly; the brides guests on the left, the grooms on the right (in Jewish weddings the seats is reversed). In a military wedding, guests who are officers are seated according to rank.
- show late-arriving guests to seats on the face with more room.
During the ceremony, they
- may enter in the processional (but often enter with the groom).
- generally see the bridesmaids in the recessional.
After the ceremony, they
- may issue to show out the guests.
- if asked, should be capable to take guests to restrooms and phone facilities, and to the reception site.
- make sure the ceremony site is clear of all the wedding parties belongings.
At the reception, they
- do not tolerate in the receiving line.
- sit at either the brides table or another table designated for the attendants, in alternate positions with the bridesmaids.
- mingle with guests.
After the reception, they
- promptly refund any rented formal clothing to the appropriate location.
- throughout the marriage and reception, they are to remain available to help in any capacity asked by the better man or head usher.
Responsibilities of the Head Usher
In gain to the previously stated responsibilities for the set of usher. The head usher is in point of other ushers. He assures their prompt arrival at the ceremony site for the rehearsal and wedding. When the ushers have not been designated by the bride and prepare to do special duties, the head usher appoints them at the rehearsal. He informs the ushers of any special seating arrangements. He makes sure the train and the better man have received their boutonnieres. He supervises the seating, maintaining a proportion of guests on both sides, particularly during the finish 15 minutes prior to the ceremony. He escorts the mothers of the bride and groom (unless another usher is the son of one of the mothers).
Responsibilities of the Ring Bear
Before the wedding, he
- pays for his own attire, purchased or rented.
- is responsible for devising and keeping appointments for fittings.
- tries on formal attire before the wedding, preferably before going the stock in character any sizes need to be exchanged.
- attends the rehearsal.
- may see the rehearsal dinner along with his parents.
During the ceremony, he
- carries a rest that may or may not give the official rings attached.
- either precedes or walks with the flower girl directly in face of you and your mother in the processional.
- may then, if very young, be seated with his parents.
- if left with the bridal party, follows directly behind the bride and bridegroom in the recessional along with the flower girl.
At the reception, he
- does not abide in the receiving line.
- either remains with his parents or sits at a limited table for children under adult supervision.
After the reception, he
- is responsible for promptly returning any rented formal clothing to the appropriate location.
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